Ladies and gentlemen! Most of you admire Devin's geniousness. But where are this geniousness' routs? Considering Devin's creation in the lyrics of some of his songs (particularly "Ocean Machines"), Townsend's idea that he is no less than God himself, and incontestable fact that Devin has been abducted by aliens, it puts the thought into my mind: could it happen that aliens had changed Devin Townsend in any way? Or perhaps, he is not a human at all now...
Possibly, during some fearsome experiment Devin has become bearer of an alien's DNA.

What are your thoughs about this, ladies and gentlemen?

Regarding the interviews i read, my thought is that he is more aware being human than most people.

You're crazy.

"GET DOWN THERE... AND PROBE... MY BUDDY'S... ASS!!"

Sorry I can just imagine Dev reporting back to the mothership, though:


COMMANDER: Ah, Representative Townsend. How goes the work on Earth? Have you succeeded in enlightening the humans on the transcendental glory of symphonic pop-inflected metal?

DEV: Err...

COMMANDER: Have you converted the masses to the cathartic and uniting power of heavy music, so we may live among them as equals? (Chuckles) Did you manage to convince them you're God yet?

DEV: Dude, I was drunk when I said that. I told you.

COMMANDER: I know, I know. Just pulling your prick there a minute, son. But seriously, how are things going?

DEV: Okay, I guess...

COMMANDER: Just okay? Surely you've distributed aural documents to all the indigenous lifeforms on the planet?

DEV: The CDs? Yeah, we've sold a few. I suppose it's just been a bit more difficult than we thought.

COMMANDER: In what way?

DEV: They just don't seem to get it. A lot of people are into it, but most of them won't pay attention. They're still out fighting each other, being greedy and repressed, buying Limp Bizkit records -

COMMANDER: What? Don't they know that the Galactic High Council placed a ban on giving Fred Durst money under any circumstances?

DEV: He's still a rock star here!

COMMANDER: Mecha-Christ on a hyper camel...

DEV: Look man, it'll still work. There's a lot of smart guys here, and the sales are going up. Strapping's doing well. But I don't know, the rest of 'em just won't catch up with the universe. Shit, skullets aren't even fashionable round here -

COMMANDER: Whoa! Hold the goddamn phone a second: You telling me they don't even rock the skullet? Didn't they even FIND the 11th Commandment?

DEV: Dude, they think I look 'funny'.

PAUSE.

COMMANDER: Fuck it, let's invade. Fancy being World President?

DEV: Do I get to smoke pot on the job?

COMMANDER: Sure.

DEV: Cool. Oh, and can you bring some more pneumatic coolant? Gene's feet have been overheating lately...

Good work, that's the first thing to make me laugh today.

hilarious!

HA HAA! Genious!

COMMANDER: What? Don't they know that the Galactic High Council placed a ban on giving Fred Durst money under any circumstances?

I'm lucky I wasn't drinking when I read this

Hahaha, brilliant!!

I remember my first "Devin is really an alien" theory. Sigh. The good old days.

But, seriously, I think Devin felt Alien, once upon a time. And, he felt he was God, too for a while. But, not so much anymore.

And, plus one, Cav. Well done. Very funny.

I remember my first "Devin is really an alien" theory. Sigh. The good old days.

But, seriously, I think Devin felt Alien, once upon a time. And, he felt he was God, too for a while. But, not so much anymore.

After all my years thinking about Dev's mind and how he must interact with things, it never in came close to thinking that Devin could be an alien! I guess thats because I could relate to him so well with my psychosis, and I know I'm human.

Trippy.

Let me tell you, I've played a show with the lads and they are amazingly down to Earth. I pulled up to the gig and saw Devon eating Subway and that was how I realized he was human. I thought he only ate babies.

i had a freaky dev dream last night!!! i was outside my house and they said dev was coming there. so first i see this bald dude and this long haired guy and i asked who the bald dude was and the long haired dude yells out "fuck you, you dont know who sammy hagar is???" and i just walked off. dev was in a chair and he was green! and had alien eyes, i said hi and he hugged me. then i woke up

Ladies and gentlemen! Most of you admire Devin's geniousness. But where are this geniousness' routs? Considering Devin's creation in the lyrics of some of his songs (particularly "Ocean Machines"), Townsend's idea that he is no less than God himself, and incontestable fact that Devin has been abducted by aliens, it puts the thought into my mind: could it happen that aliens had changed Devin Townsend in any way? Or perhaps, he is not a human at all now...
Possibly, during some fearsome experiment Devin has become bearer of an alien's DNA.

What are your thoughs about this, ladies and gentlemen?

I think that you should stop watching X-fiiles.